Again?

The power of words coupled with truth is an undeniable life changing force.  The words we like to hear are positive, happy ones like “I love you”, “Proud of you”, “Til Death Do Us Part” Having your baby” to name a few. But then there are the hard words.  “You are fired”,  “There’s been an accident”, “He died”, “She died”, “You have cancer” to name a few more. My normal world came to a screeching stop with the C word. Fighting cancer for a year of treatment was life changing. As was the dread of hearing those three words again before every single annual mammogram.  Praise the Lord I’ve been cancer the last 18 years. But the dread lies quietly in wait each year. 

Three other words, “You have Covid”  changed my life a year ago.  I almost died and my recovery in rehabilitation was five months. I am still recovering with the need of oxygen.  And my hair grew back. And a new dread took up residence in the recesses of my mind.  What if I get covid again?  Several doctors have told me that I might not make if I get Covid again because of my damaged lungs. 

So I’ve kept my world relatively small.  I recently bowed out of a wedding and didn’t attend my grandkids’ music camp performance.  Just keeping my world as safe as possible. But it happened. A scratchy throat prompted me to test and I had Covid.  AGAIN. Sigh. 

But God quieted my fear. He reminded me that He brought me through it last year. If it is His will, He can do it again. So I just fell back on my favorite hashtag. #alwaystrusting

My family and friends prayed. My good doctor prescribed good meds that I started immediately. I kept a close watch on my oxygen levels. My granddaughter Ava came to keep me company and her eye on me. She’d already been exposed to Covid from her mom. 

This is the  fifth day and I feel normal!!! No fever  No loss of taste or smell  No headache  No bronchial issues. The only symptoms I had were scratchy throat and fatigue. I’m very thankful the worst is over. I hope so but with Covid, you never know. 

So today I returned to life. Being outside was so refreshing. Ava and I took a drive and got donuts and Panda Express. I delighted in my favorite pass time of taking pics from my car window.

So thankful for God’s mercy to me in countless ways. “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever,” Psalm 23:6.

PS:  Dear God, could I also skip the Covid hair loss this time around?  

A year ago

 A year ago my covid test was positive.  As I looked at the test result apprehensively, I didn’t anticipate the long journey ahead. Looking back I find it hard to grasp that I almost died and half of our family got covid.  I was in a fragile physical condition when my husband died. Grieving was postponed by recovery efforts to breath and build my strength to ambulate.  Five months later I returned home and to a multitude of adjustments, emotionally and physically. 

So where am I today, a year later?  I’m still dependent on 2-4 liters of oxygen depending on my level of activity. My much needed knee surgeries are permanently off the table because of damaged lungs.  So I’m still adjusting  To things I cannot manage without help. To figuring out how to do things in a different way.  Or adjusting to the loss of things I probably won’t be able to do again.

Like walking on the beach.  Not a wheelchair friendly place   Or immersing myself under the cool refreshing water or jumping a wave.   Not quite compatible with a nose cannula and oxygen tubing. As a former Florida girl and beach lover, how do I reconcile this personal loss in my life? 

Refocus  on what I can do  Not what I cannot do   Not always easy but doable   It’s a choice. And remember.    

Every day I go to the beach in my memories   How?  The master bathroom is decorated in a beach theme  I hung a grouping of  six    favorite beach pics out of large collection of beach shots.  Long gazes of my photography reminds me of cherished times and it soothes my soul.  Memories   Let the memories live again  and a new day will begin.    

#tobecontinued

#wellwithmysoul

#alwaystrusting