Pretty things

Grieving.....and pretty things.

I was sitting at my dining room table this morning and just looking around the room.  I have acquired many things which originated from my mom as a gift or an inheritance.  I prefer the things that she gave me as a gift because I was able to express my appreciation to her.  And the things I have inherited are cherished remembrances but associated with my loss of a mom. 

For many years, my mom collected various objects of value.  Pitchers, Lenox, dolls, collector plates, figurines,  Belleck, pewter, copper, crystal, crocks, Hummels, Precious Moments, milk glass, antique dishes, spoons, ...... that is just what pops into my head without straining my brain too much.  Sometimes she bought three of something.  One for herself, one for my sister and one for me.  Her choices were very tasteful and her collections brought her great satisfaction.

Mom used to say, "Girls, if anything happens to me,  you'll have lots of pretty things."  (Funny she phrased it as 'if anything' happens instead of 'when something' happens. ) But anyway, at times that offended us.  After all,  our own homes were already decorated with things we like and chose.  Weren't our choices good enough?  Add to that the things she had already gifted us with that she thought we should collect.  Where in the world would we put all her pretty things?  It troubled us for years, knowing that someday we would have to deal with all of it.

We understood that it was very important to Mom to leave this legacy for us.  All her pretty things.  Perhaps because she came from  a poor family of seven children and never had much to call her own.  Or maybe her self esteem was interwoven with the pretty things she collected and filled her surroundings.  Mom would even proudly proclaim to people that she was a collector.  Oh  my!  Was she ever!  She surely had an extra portion of everything you can imagine. 

Mom even had a complete inventory of all her earthly possessions for the last twenty years.  Each index card had the item description, when it was bought and purchase prize.  Or if it was a gift and from whom.  Sometimes a little note, like "I love it!"  "My favorite" What a challenge to match the inventory card with the item, find the original box and paperwork for each collectible.  I became quite proficient at playing the matchy- match game for the last two years.

So this brings me to where I am today.....now surrounded by many of Mom's pretty things.  Yes, after Mom died, my perspective changed.  I found out she was right after all.  So did my sister.   She knew we would want her pretty things.  It became important to hold on to special things to keep the memories close.  I willingly weeded out my own things to make room for Mom's pretty things.  I never imagined I would want to keep the beautiful Lenox china we had tried to talk her out of buying.  Especially because I have my own china that I love so much.  Nor would I think I would end up with a collection of her best crystal, because I am not a big connoisseur of crystal.  And why would a Toby mug suddenly be so appealing?

 So now these are a few of my favorite things........The Yield House corner cabinet with drop leaf table  displaying Mom's Belleck.  The platform oak rocker sitting beside my grandpa's antique barrister bookcase with two shelves of memorabilia from my Dad's side.  The maple desk with brass handled drawers that when opened make a noise that propels me back to my living at home years.  A wicker desk from their first apartment that now graces our guest room.  Mom's childhood tea set that I played with as a young girl.  The green and brown spatterware crock pitcher that was my grandma's and passed down to my mom.  The Little Women figurines, the afghans my grandma made, the Hummel collection display, my dad's pewter airplane display, knickknacks here and there...even two of her violet plants in a country basket transported from their Florida log home. 

Unexpectedly, these pretty things give me comfort, coziness, and connection with the parents I miss.